April 25, 2013
My Love, My Life, My Breath,
How does one begin to sum up 15 years of marriage? How do you even begin to explain what this time has done to you as a person? I can hardly believe as I sit here that 15 (+) years has passed…some days it feels like yesterday and there are some that feel like it has been the longest race…but as you run a race, there are always stations where you can grab a cup of water and feel replenished - it gives you that little bit of fuel to press on….I am grateful that in these days, the cup has been there to refuel us and help us press on…
I don’t know if there are enough words to express how I feel as I write…I don’t know how to process the depth of my love and feelings for you. I never thought I would have this in my life, I never thought anyone would love me this way…would CHOOSE to love me this way…you changed my life the moment we went from friends to a couple. You changed who I was, who I thought I was going to be, what I wanted in my life and you busted through a wall that I never thought anyone would ever get through…there is no one on this Earth that knows me the way you do.
We have beat the odds…most people who marry at our age, with our circumstance don’t make it…I am grateful everyday (even the ones that I want to beat you) that we have always chosen to keep trying, even when giving up would have been easier…but I guess that is us…always doing things the hard way J
I can’t imagine my life without you in it. You have done so much to help me grow, to teach me how to be open to love, to make me be a better person, wife and mommy…I know that some people say that this could be too much dependency, but truly, there are days that being apart from you because of work or other schedule issues I just feel empty, like part of me is missing…there is nothing better in this life then knowing that you have someone whose love pushes you to be more than you can imagine, whose very presence fills you with joy and hope and who loves you with a love than can only come from the kind of love that Jesus gives us.
Because of you, I believe: love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious and does not boast. It is not rude, proud or self-seeking. It is not easily angered, does not record wrongs. It doesn’t delight in the bad and it rejoices in the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never fails. Even in the times that it may not seem this way, I know that your love will never fail…Your hope and optimism astound me. I have never known someone like you; who can always find the hope in the dark, see the light in the future, and find the joy in the sorrow…
There is no one else I can imagine raising kids with, walking through the storms, the hurricanes and the earthquakes of life with; there is not anyone else that I would rather share my joy, my hope and the exciting things of life with. You are my person, my partner, my love, my best friend…These past 15 (+) years have been some of the greatest and some of the hardest of my life, but I would not change them for anything in the world…I would do every amazing, joy filled, loving moment all over again and every tear, heartache and devastating moment again…every one of those moments have led us to where we are today and there is no one else that I would want to be standing here with.
Babe, you are the greatest gift God has given me. I don’t think there is anyone else that could compliment me the way you do, that could understand me, support me, guide me….you lift me up, you hold me close, you nurture my independence, you breathe life into the days that I feel lifeless, you carry me through the storms, you nurture and guide my relationship with Jesus, you push me to grow, to learn, to be filled with a joy that only comes from faith. You are everything I could ever want, but most of all you are everything that I need.
In the darkest moments, you are the reason that I can still see the light – still find Him – and still know there is purpose in it all. In the happiest moments, you are the reason that I smile bigger – keep the joy close – and know that we deserve to be happy. In times of peace, you are the reason we are steady – you are the reason we stay open to what is coming – and you are the reason we know peace comes from Him. In times of turmoil, you are the reason I hold on to Him to stay afloat – the one who comforts me in the rawness of life – and you are the reason I find hope.
The fact is, life isn’t worth truly living without having you to live it with…the next chapter of our lives will be a ride, this I can already tell. One son entering high school, one moving into the teen years...I don’t know how one even begins to process the fact that our boys are turning into men before our eyes – We are barely adults ourselves J
Never stop being the man you are, the one you are striving to be…I will walk beside you in the greatest hours and in the darkest and when I get lost, I know you will be there to take my hand and lead me back to Him and to you…
Thank you for the past 15 (+) years. Thank you for loving me like no one else ever has or ever could. Thank you for being willing to always work it out, work it through and strive for more. Thank you for being forgiving, gracious and full of mercy. Thank you for giving the greatest hugs in the whole world. Thank you for loving my family as your own. Thank you for supporting and complimenting. Most of all, thank you for being all I have ever needed. I adore you, I am blessed to have you, and I love you.