Wednesday, February 22, 2012


I am sitting here with my windows open with a beautiful breeze blowing through my house...that is a beautiful thing!  

Last night I was watching a TV show and there was a man on there who has been through a lot rough times and he made the comment that when people ask him how he manages to smile and go on, he says that he tells them that "I am too blessed to be stressed."  I was struck... all the times that I have allowed my self to be stressed over things that I can't control - only focusing on the bad and not thinking about all the good I have in my life...

This morning I was reading one of the Psalms ( I am going through a plan to read the Bible through in a year and have chosen to the schedule some...I also decided to do a more in depth study of the Psalms and eventually in Proverbs) and ironically, because we all know that nothing happens for a reason ;-) my Psalm today was Psalm 31, which is about being in times of stress and completely committing to depending on God.

   PSALM 31 - ESV

  In you, O LORD, do I take refuge;
        let me never be put to shame;
        in your righteousness deliver me!
    Incline your ear to me;
        rescue me speedily!
    Be a rock of refuge for me,
        a strong fortress to save me!
    For you are my rock and my fortress;
        and for your name's sake you lead me and guide me;
    you take me out of the net they have hidden for me,
        for you are my refuge.
    Into your hand I commit my spirit;
        you have redeemed me, O LORD, faithful God.
    I hate those who pay regard to worthless idols,
        but I trust in the LORD.
    I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love,
        because you have seen my affliction;
        you have known the distress of my soul,
    and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy;
        you have set my feet in a broad place.
    Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
        my eye is wasted from grief;
        my soul and my body also.
    For my life is spent with sorrow,
        and my years with sighing;
    my strength fails because of my iniquity,
        and my bones waste away.
    Because of all my adversaries I have become a reproach,
        especially to my neighbors,
    and an object of dread to my acquaintances;
        those who see me in the street flee from me.
    I have been forgotten like one who is dead;
        I have become like a broken vessel.
    For I hear the whispering of many—
        terror on every side!—
    as they scheme together against me,
        as they plot to take my life.
    But I trust in you, O LORD;
        I say, “You are my God.”
    My times are in your hand;
        rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors!
    Make your face shine on your servant;
        save me in your steadfast love!
    O LORD, let me not be put to shame,
        for I call upon you;
    let the wicked be put to shame;
        let them go silently to Sheol.
    Let the lying lips be mute,
        which speak insolently against the righteous
        in pride and contempt.
    Oh, how abundant is your goodness,
        which you have stored up for those who fear you
    and worked for those who take refuge in you,
        in the sight of the children of mankind!
    In the cover of your presence you hide them
        from the plots of men;
    you store them in your shelter
        from the strife of tongues.
    Blessed be the LORD,
        for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me
        when I was in a besieged city.
    I had said in my alarm,
        “I am cut off from your sight.”
    But you heard the voice of my pleas for mercy
        when I cried to you for help.
    Love the LORD, all you his saints!
        The LORD preserves the faithful
        but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride.
    Be strong, and let your heart take courage,
        all you who wait for the LORD!   

I really just sat here and thought to myself - above all things in my matter how bad or horrible, no matter how much things hurt or sadden me, I HAVE THE LORD.  Does this mean that I will never feel stress or worry - probably not, but I have found a deeper understanding in what it means to cling to the Lord because He is always there, He will make all things work for good according to His timing and purpose, He will never leave or forsake me and when those things put me in a place of despondency, He will carry me through...

So today, I will focus on my blessings:

My salvation and beautiful and growing relationship with husband, who loves me more than anyone ever beautiful and healthy boys...a loving family  and friends....a home...a job....a basic needs and even many wants are met.....hope in reconciliation and new beginnings....beautiful weather....

Truly, the list could go on and on...I can't guarantee what my tomorrow holds, but I can guarantee that I have Jesus to walk with me yeah, I am to blessed to be stressed. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

No matter where I am, so is He...PART 2

Another Kari Jobe song (from her new amazing album) goes well with my last blog...I want to add that in times of prayer, sometimes I lay in bed or I am just sitting on the couch or at my desk, but there are absolute times that I feel that it is beyond necessary to be on your knees and times where laying on my face (literally) is necessary - I believe that in my broken moments or when I am in adoration and praise that I must be as humble as possible just to honor His glory.  This song is called "Find You On My Knees" and you can listen to it here

Thursday, February 9, 2012

No matter where I am, so is He...

As I have said before, I am a major music fan and it is something that I use to connect with Him before I pray, read my Bible or when I feel like I need to hear Him in a different way.  Kari Jobe has a new album and it is amazing...One song, called "Here" has been particularity ministering to my heart, especially if I listen to it before I pray.  You can listen to it here. The lyrics are so true and powerful: 

Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down
Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now

You'll find His peace 
And know you are not alone anymore
He is near
You'll find His healing
Your heart isn't shattered anymore
He is here

Breathe in
Breath out
You will
You will find Him here

Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down
Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now

You'll find His peace 
And know you are not alone anymore
He is near
You'll find His healing
Your heart isn't shattered anymore
He is here

Breathe in
Breath out
You will
You will find Him here

I will rest in You
I will rest in You
I will rest in You
I will rest in You

Breathe in
Breath out
You will
You will find Him here

Breathe in
Breath out
You will
You will find Him here

You will find Him
You will find Him here
You will find Him
You will find Him here

I am a huge believer in bringing Him thanks and praise in prayer.  I think that it is something that you should almost say first - praise Him just for who He is and what He has done for you and then praise Him for all He has given and blessed you with...then pray the needs and burdens of myself, loved ones and others and then praise Him again. 

But, there are times where the burden is so great and the pain is so deep and all you can do is cry out to Him.  Sometimes, in these times of my life, I have a hard time coming to Him in brokenness...I don't know if it is because I feel ashamed that I have such a great need or because I am so broken that I don't even know how I got to that point...either way, I have always had a hard time with unburdening knowing that I am going to be asking for so much.  When I heard this song I was so touched because it made me realize that He is here - He knows that I am so broken and He has given us His death and resurrection (one of the reasons) so we can lay at the foot of the cross and be unburdened.  As I have been reading through the Psalms, it is so clear that He wants us to come to Him with our praise and thanksgiving, but also our burdens.  

Psalm 4:1 ...Answer me when I call to You, O my righteous God.  Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer...

Psalm 6:4...Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of Your unfailing love,...  6:9...The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer...

Psalm 18:6...In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.  From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears...  18:16-17...He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters.  He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were to strong for me...  18:28...You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light...

These are just a few of the Psalms that talk to us and teach us about His love, His heart for our burdens and that He is always there....Psalm 22, 25, 27 and 28....the list is endless...I realize that I should not feel shame in needing Him so much because He wants me to need Him...He wants to help me, love me, teach me, guide me through those times of great burden and pain because He is the light in the darkness...

In my times of great burden what could be more beautiful then putting in my headphones, listening to this song and taking a deep breath and bringing my burdens to the One that loves me more than any other....

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Worth - We all have a purpose

1. The quality that renders something desirable, useful, or valuable: the worth of higher education.
2.. Quality that commands esteem or respect; merit
1. Deserving of; meriting: a proposal not worth consideration.
I think that everyone desires and works toward finding worth in themselves.  I think that it is one of the things that people struggle with most in their life.  A lot of the times I believe that after salvation, guilt and shame can be overwhelming - realizing the things you have done that brought glory to nothing, things that harmed you, things that you now realize are sin and that satan takes these things and uses them against you - which begins the process of asking yourself, "How can I be used, how can I be of any worth in His kingdom and to bring Him glory with all of this baggage dragging behind me?"  
It is so easy to slide into that vicious cycle of self hatred and doubt because we realize how important it is to be pleasing to Him, to follow His commandments and rules for life that we forget that the past is the past and in Him we are created new - clean in His sight.  I have said many times in my walk that I struggle with worth and value.  I find so much shame in the things I did before I knew Him, but it is choices that I have made after knowing Him and knowing better that have affected me more as of late.  
Christians are the worst judges of other Christians in my opinion.  I think that it is like a poison that we take - if we find the bad in others than we won't see the bad in ourselves.  Maybe if I focus on the speck in their eye, I won't have to look at the redwood tree coming out of mine...Yea, we all have done it.  It makes it worse as we become vocal about our love of Him and others start to point out all of the things that we do that are not Christian or when we let our flesh overtake our heart and do things spur of the moment and then we get questioned on what kind of Christian we really are - WE ARE STILL HUMAN PEOPLE!!!!  Yea, I am sure you are wondering if I am going to get to a point and stop rambling, but I think we have to realize the magnitude these things have on the person who is trying to grow and change (and face it, we all make mistakes in our daily life) and how this makes them look at their worth in a negative way.
God doesn't call us to be perfect, but to be better.  To do our best to live a life that is pleasing to Him and thank heavens for the cross, because in the moments we are overcome with our flesh, we can come to Him with repentance and be forgiven - the problem is the people around us are not so gracious and we have consequences to our choices and actions - these things we have to deal with, these things can be hard, emotionally draining, daunting and sometimes they can bring up the things that we like least in ourselves. Then there we are back at doubting our worth, wondering if we are worthy of His love and sometimes getting to the point of feeling of worthy of His gift on the cross...the TRUTH is we are all someone WORTH dying for - He desires and loves all of us and what matters is that we have repentance of our mistakes - that we recognize that we have been wrong, that we become aware that when we allow ourselves to act in our flesh that we have to learn from our mistakes - most of that the people around us are not always going to act like Jesus and that we may have consequences to face, but with Him and by being in His word - we can overcome and our redemption is sure...We are not perfect, but we all have a purpose and a worth - 
MikesChair has an amazing song to remind us that we are worth His love and death:
"...You are WORTH it... the cross has proven that you're sacred and blameless, your life has purpose..." 
We are fearfully and wonderfully made and precious in His sight - even at our worst, He is still there to love us, guide us and help us grow...there is worth in that alone because we are daughters and sons of the King - and we have a God who loves us and found us worthy enough to die for us - knowing everything about you, He still chose to die for you - there is no better worth than what can be found in that kind of love -