Saturday, March 24, 2012

If Your Gonna Get Told, Who Better to do it then Beth Moore

I am currently going through the Bible study "Believing God" by Beth Moore.  This is my third study with her and I can say that I am hooked.  I have nothing but absolute respect and appreciation for her ability to be used by God to speak truth and light into the life of women.  Not only does she have such a deep connection with her faith and with Him, but she is educated.

Last time I blogged, I talked about the situation my family (specifically my husband) was going through and how it was weighing on me spiritually and emotionally.  Through last weeks study and Sunday morning church, God showed me much, but in the is past week study - He blew my mind!  I had to laugh because this study is years old, but it was breathed into my life in just the right time.  I got told and if God is gonna use someone to put you back in your place, why not Beth - we are old friends ;-)

I hate being in a place of unbelief and as we hit week three, my world was rocked open.  We have a place to journal at the end of our everyday homework and I have been consistent in asking Him to move me into a deep rooted spirit of belief, to push my faith into an even deeper place and to grow even deeper in my relationship with Him.  Now this is something I ask for all the time, to grow closer and draw more near to Him, but since this study has started, I have been really begging for it.  

Beth said during our video session that, In our moments of despair, we cheat ourselves out of hearing Him tell us that He has got this for us. She also later told us that we can't base our theology on what we see with our eyes because most of what we see has a stronghold of unbelief. The world is a wicked place, filled with people living for the wrong things, striving for the wrong way and life and we see things that make us question and doubt the goodness of God, but God is still God and He is still good and the world that strives for and does bad things, are not living for Him and walking in His ways.  That is not His fault - we have free will and when we allow those things to change our perspective on who He is - then we are not believing the God of the Bible and we are denying the truths He has given us in His word.  I am guilty of this sin and I am tired of being guilty and doing nothing about it.  As the words from the song "You Love Me Anyway" by Sidewalk Prophets says:

I am the thorn in Your crown, but You love me anyway.
I am the sweat from Your brow, but You love me anyway.
I am the nail in Your wrist, but You love me anyway.
I am Judas’ kiss, but You love me anyway.
See now, I am the man who yelled out from the crowd,   
for Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground.
Yes then, I turned away with a smile on my face
with this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway 

And praise Him because in-spite of me living in unbelief, questioning and doubting Him at His word, He loves me - I am the one who knew this sin in my heart was there and tried to bury it deep in me, not wanting to face my unbelief, but in the end, I found myself crying to Him - with tears streaming down my face, begging Him to free me from myself and I am ashamed to say that I have been a Christian for years and still find myself doubting Him in times of despair, but He still loves me and He still shows me that I have no reason to doubt Him because in my time of unbelieving, He showed me just how much He is God. God is so good!!! And as He started showing me, He used this last session of study to pound in every single thing because my God is the God who performs!

Mark 9:23 tells us that, Everything is possible to those who BELIEVE.  Psalm 77:14 says that He is the God who performs miracles... and many may say that what I am about to say is not a miracle, but I say it is because this is the God that is making me from one who questions Him about every despairing thing, that is confused and doubtful in the times that are rocky into one that stares those times in the face and says: God IS who He says He is, and He can do what He says He can do, and I am who God says I am, and that there is nothing that I can't do through Him and that His word is alive and active in me! because having His word is having truth and His truth is life - like it says in Habakkak 3:2 - Lord, I have heard of Your fame; I stand in awe of Your deeds... I have heard of His fame and I believe His name and most of all, I have seen His amazing deeds in my life since the moment we started this study....and I am on fire in my heart to learn more, to let myself become a woman of GREAT FAITH! Just like the Canaanite Woman I spoke of in my last blog (Matthew 15:21-28) bring it on Beth! I look forward to digging into the homework and hearing you drive it home every video session - my prayer is that at the end of my life, He will look at me and say that I became one of His children who truly believed Him - not just for who He is, or what He says, but for what He can do - that I believed Him. 

1 comment:

  1. I know this is old but I am just now catching up... :) I enjoy hearing about your journey.