But You Love Me Anyway

I am in such awe of Him.  I am amazed of how is blessings are abundant even when I think I deserve it the least.  I have recently gotten a part time job and have found out that I work with really wonderful people.  Aaron and I have tossed back in forth trading in our vehicle because we have started to have to put a lot of money into it, but felt unsure if we would get a good deal and benefit.  I was just talking to one of my co-workers about it.  Telling her parameters on payments, etc. and she kind of started looking and we decided to start the process and see what our options are.  Within 24 hours, we were driving off the lot in a 2011 Chevy Equinox with only 22,600 miles on it, bumper to bumper warranty for 5 years (100,000) miles, etc with every parameter we asked for received.  More than we need, better than what we deserve and He provided.  The people I work with helped us without gaining anything, probably losing some and did it with joy.  Truly, I feel blessed just to be working with people who truly helped us.  I don't say this to plug anyone or place, but to praise Him for allowing me to be in that kind of environment, surrounded by those kind of people because I find it humbling.  

I call this blog, "But You Love Me Anyway" because lately, I have found myself worrying about things, being frustrated with others and in general not giving Him the control that I should - again thinking I can handle everything and not trusting in the God who has time and time again shown me that He is all He claims to be.  I hate that attribute of myself, one who is unwilling to just trust.  Without fail, He shows up and shows me that I am wrong and usually in a powerful way, but none as powerful as this.  I think that I have had my "come to Jesus" moment and that hated attribute is not going to defeat me again and not just because I have something beautiful in my driveway, but because He humbled me across the board on this one - the kind of one your face humbling that really hits you like a ton of bricks - life lesson learned.  As the four of us prayed around our car that night, praising Him for His generosity, I heard that child like faith in their voices and in mine...

Any time He blesses me, I find myself struck because it always seems it is in a time where I am being the most stubborn, fighting Him, doubting, struggling with trust or faith in His promises - yet on top of loving me anyway, holding me when I reject, He choice to bless.  We serve such a loving and giving Father.  I find myself unable to even make this blog begin to make sense because as I type I am overwhelmed with love, His presence and a sense of something I can't explain.  I can't find the words because this isn't just about our new vehicle, or having a material thing, it is about what He taught me and the lesson is so deep and powerful that it overwhelms... 

There is a song with the tile of my blog - it is one that I identify with.  You can listen to it here: Sidewalk Prophets - You Love Me Anyway

I am blessed with or without this car - I have a husband who thinks I am a princess (literally), kids who I adore and love and they return the same affections, a Savior who loves me when I am nothing but undeserving, and wonderful people in my life - family, friends, co-workers....so I take this extra blessing and accept it as something more than I could ever imagined having and in return, I give it back to Him because nothing I have is truly mine because I would not have anything if it wasn't for Him...Great is His faithfulness when I am least deserving...Great is His love no matter where I find myself and Great is His blessings when you least see them coming...